| Advice (Open to Guests) Got relationship problems or has life just got you down? Whatever is troubling you, get some advice here! |

25-05-2008, 12:28 PM
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Bacteria
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Join Date: 23 Feb 2008
Sex: Male
Location: Australia
Posts: 17
Rep Power: 0
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im "like a brother" to her
Ive been really close friends with this girl for about 2 years now, after a while i developed a crush on her but didnt say anything for fear of hurting our friendship. a few months ago a friend of hers tells me that she had a crush on me the whole time too, so after alot of thought i finaly tell her how i feel. I spent ages making this valentines present for her ( i was going to give her a rose with it but it but they were like $50 ). well, to everyone's surprise she rejected me. we're still good friends but i was completely crushed. now, much later, her friend asked her why she said no to me, and she replied "he's too much like a brother to me".
I've heard that this can happen when a guy is too friendly toward a girl and they sorta begin to take you for granted, become comfortable in your relationship. Is that true? I did always make sure she felt comfortable around me and never pressured or anything, but was i wrong to do that?
She now apparently has a crush on some player who keeps getting new girlfriends all the time, but apparently he says that he will stop doing that if he goes out with my friend.
Is there any way i can get her back? I dont think acting like a jerk toward her will help, i really have no idea what i should do now
Last edited by Aussie; 25-05-2008 at 01:42 PM.
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25-05-2008, 12:33 PM
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Elephant
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Join Date: 12 Aug 2004
Sex: Female
Location: Leeds
Posts: 4,721
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Awh this sounds like a friend of mine.
You sound like a proper nice guy awww
All you can do is be there for her really.
She probably said what she said because she fancies someone else, in my opinion.
If he is a player and your as nice as you sound she should realise eventually.
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and they're running through the clouds without you
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22-06-2008, 02:36 PM
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Bacteria
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Join Date: 23 Feb 2008
Sex: Male
Location: Australia
Posts: 17
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after alot of thought, i think i might write her a letter telling her everything she means to me. But, would that be enough to change her mind if she really does like this other guy? or would it just ruin our friendship? and what should i say or not say? should i just bear all and hope for the best?
hehe sorry for all the questions but i dont really have alot of time left....
i appreciate ANY help at all, im really unsure of what i should do...
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22-06-2008, 03:08 PM
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Shark
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Join Date: 19 Mar 2006
Age: 16
Sex: Female
Location: England
Posts: 10,240
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I think, sometimes it's better out than in, if you don't write the letter and tell her you might always regret it. If you do it then at least things will be out in the open, and not left for you to constantly keep re0thinking over and worrying about how she might react. There is a chance she might see your frienship differently, but it could go either way.
Good luck!
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<3 Markeh
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29-06-2008, 09:23 AM
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You can't stop her from going out with this player guy.
She's going to learn from her mistakes.
Just be there when she realizes who this guy really is.
But don't take advantage, don't make a move when she's trying to get over him.
_^_Unless you're getting the signs that she wants you to.
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29-06-2008, 02:05 PM
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Bacteria
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Join Date: 23 Feb 2008
Sex: Male
Location: Australia
Posts: 17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Becky
I think, sometimes it's better out than in, if you don't write the letter and tell her you might always regret it. If you do it then at least things will be out in the open, and not left for you to constantly keep re0thinking over and worrying about how she might react. There is a chance she might see your frienship differently, but it could go either way.
Good luck!
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Thanks, thats what i was thinking too
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3LL3_^_
You can't stop her from going out with this player guy.
She's going to learn from her mistakes.
Just be there when she realizes who this guy really is.
But don't take advantage, don't make a move when she's trying to get over him.
_^_Unless you're getting the signs that she wants you to.
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well, i dont intend to force her not to go out with him, like by using guilt or something...
i just wanna give her a letter that shows her how much ive loved her for the last 2 years. and i hope that it will make her realise that i care for her more than the player guy (although he said that he'll ask her out once he thinks he's no longer a player, he's gonna try to stop that and make a serious relationship with her)
after all, she did like me for a long time up until recently, im hoping that all i have to do is remind her of the feelings she used to have for me.
Also... if she does choose him over me, as much as i dont want to, i think ill have to stop being her friend. not only would the friendship we have likly be completely ruined, but the thought of them being together is too painful. I think i'd rather never see her again then have to go through the pain i felt when i first found out about all of this...
Last edited by Aussie; 29-06-2008 at 02:06 PM.
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05-07-2008, 05:45 PM
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Ive been in the situation but from the girls point of view (cuz i am a girl lol)
when my mate asked me out i hav to admit i was pretty shocked
but obvioulisly he was just my mate so i said no
he never did anything drastic but some advice from me if he had wrote me a letter like your planning...
i would have felt incredibly awkward around him and probely wouldn't have spoken to him for a few months
it wasn't anything you did to make her feel like your a brother it's good that you ensured she felt comfortable around you...
just give her time she might come round...
i did :D
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10-07-2008, 05:25 AM
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Bacteria
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Join Date: 23 Feb 2008
Sex: Male
Location: Australia
Posts: 17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregister
Ive been in the situation but from the girls point of view (cuz i am a girl lol)
when my mate asked me out i hav to admit i was pretty shocked
but obvioulisly he was just my mate so i said no
he never did anything drastic but some advice from me if he had wrote me a letter like your planning...
i would have felt incredibly awkward around him and probely wouldn't have spoken to him for a few months
it wasn't anything you did to make her feel like your a brother it's good that you ensured she felt comfortable around you...
just give her time she might come round...
i did :D
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oh really...
please tell me, what was it that changed your mind? was it something he did?
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10-07-2008, 09:06 AM
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Elephant
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Join Date: 18 Sep 2004
Age: 21
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If you do her, would that make it incest? Because if it does, that's even hawter.
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Rofflesticks.
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10-07-2008, 10:20 AM
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Slug
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Join Date: 09 Jul 2008
Age: 15
Sex: Female
Location: Scotland
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Ask her how she feels about you again and it sounds like she goes for the bad guys but i would rather have you other than a player because he is probably just saying he will stop being a player just so he can have her!
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15-07-2008, 07:05 AM
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Bacteria
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Join Date: 23 Feb 2008
Sex: Male
Location: Australia
Posts: 17
Rep Power: 0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkleees
Ask her how she feels about you again and it sounds like she goes for the bad guys but i would rather have you other than a player because he is probably just saying he will stop being a player just so he can have her!
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hehe thanks,
and i never thought that he might be lying to her!
but im getting kinda mixed messages now  so im still pretty confused 
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17-07-2008, 07:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aussie
oh really...
please tell me, what was it that changed your mind? was it something he did?
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It was nothing he did...
he just accepted i only wanted to be friends and stopped flirting with me and treated me more like a friend
but he would drop the odd comment if i 'looked nice' and he did make an effort to look and smell nice when i was around
and i just eventually started to see him as more
i think it helped that he stuck around though
because he waited for me all that time
and it did take time
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18-07-2008, 11:48 AM
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Bacteria
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Join Date: 18 Jul 2008
Sex: Female
Posts: 5
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Ok, so listen, sometimes not persuing things in time ruin it in that aspect maybe let her try this new guy be there when he hurts her. =)
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25-07-2008, 08:14 AM
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Bacteria
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Join Date: 23 Feb 2008
Sex: Male
Location: Australia
Posts: 17
Rep Power: 0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregister
It was nothing he did...
he just accepted i only wanted to be friends and stopped flirting with me and treated me more like a friend
but he would drop the odd comment if i 'looked nice' and he did make an effort to look and smell nice when i was around
and i just eventually started to see him as more
i think it helped that he stuck around though
because he waited for me all that time
and it did take time
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Thanks, thats exactly what i wanted to hear. Thats really what i want to do, i was just afraid that when she got togather with this other guy she would forget all about me. But I'll just keep trying to be a good friend to her and making sure she's happy
i just hope her realationship with the other guy doesnt become too deep...
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