For some time I have been talking to my friend over MSN due to the fact that she lives in Denmark and I in Scotland. The fact is that she has been wanting to stop self-harming. This in not the first time she has self-harmed: at the age of 15 she started and stopped but now she is doing it again aged 22. This time she cannot turn to any one: her Mum will only blame herself, she is terrified of what her friends will think and she doesn't want to burden her boyfriend with the trouble. She will not go to counselling because she doesn't like talking to strangers about her childhood (she says it's pointless and I agree, seeing as how counselling had a low success rate) other methods of harming like the ice-cube on the elbow and red penning herself do not work for her. I am the only one feeling the real pressure from the outside as I am the only one she has told about it. I am the only one she has remotely opened up to and she hasn't opened completely: she will not tell me why she hates herself when she looks in the mirror and has no real confidence. A while ago she went for an entire month before cutting again but that was because she was using a lace to tighten around her wrist when the urge to harm took her. It doesn't help that she has a damaged back and wrist, making it almost impossible to do anything to strenuous on her body.
She really wants to stop but she is so afraid of seeking help and of being judged that she feels even worse which makes her self harm which makes her more determined to stop then makes her afraid. She's going around in one long cycle and while all this is happening I'm feeling more and more worried because I am not there with her. This is not the first time someone close to me has self-harmed but then I couldn't do anything, so I see this as a way to ease my guilt and help someone who can't seem to help themselves. I am the only one she talks to about this so I must help her: She chose me so I must and will. But I'm stuck as to how to help her next as she won't talk about anything to deep as she's afraid of being hurt.

Mate, even if she lived in the next room to you, if she wanted to self-half, she'd do it. When it boils down to it, theres nothing you can really do apart from just be there for her.

Instead of trying to get her to just stop self-harming, try and find something she can do to releave stress, sports and martial arts work very well for this, yoga, there are all sorts of things she can do.

She's only human and we all need some release of stress/anger or it becomes too much. Im the perfect example of someone who never releases stress, i keep it all bottled up and to myself, and dont, would never self harm. screws with your head after a while

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try suggest to her to wear anelastic band on her wrist and when she feels the need to self harm, she can twang it on herself so she feels a bit of pain but it doesnt cause scars or serious damage?

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