How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Woodchucks Chucking Wood
This is difficult to question answer. The amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on a given day varies greatly with the individual woodchuck. According to a
Wall Street Journal article, New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas found that a woodchuck could chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would chuck an amount equal to 700 pounds.
Some say it depends on three factors:
- The woodchuck's desire to chuck said wood.
- The woodchuck's need to chuck the aforementioned wood.
- The woodchuck's ability to chuck the wood.
Others say:
- He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
- If he could chuck wood, the woodchuck would chuck as much as he could!
- A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
- A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that the woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
- If a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would and should chuck wood. But if woodchucks can't chuck wood, they shouldn't and wouldn't chuck wood. Though were I a woodchuck, and I chucked wood, I would chuck wood with the best woodchucks that chucked wood.
- If a woodchuck could chuck wood, then s/he'd chuck all the wood, s/he'd chuck and chuck and chuck and chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
- It would chuck the amount of wood that she sells seashells on the seashore divided by how many pickles Peter Piper picks.
- One quarter of a sycamore if you give him a quarter for every quarter of the sycamore he cut.
- It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.
- Some maintain that woodchucks could not and would not chuck wood at all.
- It depends on how good his dentures are!
Answer
A woodchuck, would chuck, as much wood, as a woodchuck, could chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
But unfortunately, woodchucks do not chuck wood. Terry
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