So I just realized today that my 14 year old brother is afraid of water.

He's mentally handicapped and I don't know if that has something to do with it. But since he hit puberty it's a constant fight to get him into the shower to clean himself and wash his hair. It gets to the point where he is so greasy and dirty that his nails are black and his hair is plastered to his head. He looks like quite a sight and we constantly remind him gently that he needs to shower and keep clean. We've even tried the "Girls don't like smelly/dirty guys" trick because he had a girlfriend for a short time back in January. To get him into the shower is a 20 minute fight and then he goes in and just wets himself. He won't use soap or shampoo unless my mom stands at the door and tells him he can't come out until he uses them.

I asked him today to go take a shower because as he is getting over the chickenpox, the poxes are dried up and falling off and sticking to his clothes and in his hair and stuff and the more often he showers the faster they'll dry up and go away. Anyways, so I asked him to shower and he flipped out on me telling me that he would and to shut up and leave him alone and finally I had to ask. I said "Fine, but Spencer answer one question for me first. Are you afraid of the water?"

He didn't answer me. Instead he just looked down at his lunch and said "Just leave me alone" and went upstairs to the living room. His lack of response confirmed my question. He's afraid of water. It's not that he WON'T shower and like he doesn't have panic attacks about it, but he refuses to shower.

I feel so bad for him because it's like, he's starting highschool in Sept and I know how the "dirty" kids were treated when I went to school.

Any tips on what I can do? What to look for online? I'm looking at water phobias right now to see if I can figure out a bit more.

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I get the feeling there isn't another male around the house?

My brother who has special needs doesn't really understand the concept of being dirty or clean unless he's like, covered in mud.

He may have a problem with touching and cleaning his own body due to the fact he has hit puberty? My brother had to be shown how to wash himself because if he hadn't of been shown, he wouldn't of done it properly. He thinks getting wet means he is clean. And that was when he it puberty too because before that he never bothered closing the door so my parents would walk past and be like "Make sure you wash!" and he's just put shower gel everywhere which works haha

Could you try running him a bubble bath?

^^ yeah bubbles worked with my bro

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Well my dad doesn't make it easy either, he works ALOT and can sometimes not shower for 2-3 days at a time. I know this affects my brother but we just can't seem to get through.

He loves to take baths, but it's getting him into the tub that's a problem. Like, he doesn't want to talk about showers or baths or getting clean at all. I'm sure my mom has explained how to wash himself and we even try and entice him by buying the really expensive bodywash and special deodorants for guys that you see on TV.

He's been better this past week, but it's just strange. I don't quite know how to go about it.

Like, he LOVES to swim. We go to the lake and he'll spend HOURS in the water swimming. Try to add Soap and Water and he'll have a screaming match with you until you give up.

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Oh ok, so he knows HOW to? He just hates too? Haha awh.

Have you asked him what you could do to make bathtime funner? Like, bathtoys, or soap that comes in a funny bottle, like in a shop near me you can get pink shower gel in an octopus bottle and shizzle.